I think I’ve been watching too many Disney movies lately.
There! I’ve said it! That statement has probably been a long time coming. :)
Well…maybe not watching too many Disney movies but maybe obsessing a little too much over movies that are Disney-ish.
This morning while reading I had one of those 'slap you over the head moments’. You see, right now I’m stressed and worried and overly judgmental and critical about everyone and everything around me. My husband probably thinks its the hormones or something. But for the last week or so I’ve been barely able to enjoy much because I’ve been so overwhelmingly bogged down by stuff. Stuff that could be considered big stuff, stuff that is as small as deciding what to have for lunch. Just stuff.
Here comes the ‘slap you in the head’ moment. Life, even though I want to believe it, is not a Disney movie all about me. Life is not a screen play in which I’m the main character and all other people are just background characters. Unfortunately, I’ve been treating some people like just that, background characters, undervalued and at times judged.
This mini revelation was brought to my attention while reading one of Don Miller’s books, Blue Like Jazz. Shortly after reading his description of this realization in his life Don quickly makes the connection to what this really means and I thought it was super impactful,
“…[Manning] went on to speak of the great danger of a harsh word, the power of unlove to deteriorate a person’s heart and spirit, and how, as representatives of the grace and love of God, our communication should be seasoned with love and compassion.”
Reflecting on these thoughts and words shared by Miller really struck a cord with me. I can so easily see how I’ve put myself as the main character in a story and view so much of the world as it only relates to me. How I felt, or how I was going to deal or how I react. How selfish! I’m called to love and to show grace and instead I too often wonder how other decisions or others actions are going to impact my life.
Disney movies will always be some of my favorite childhood memories, and I believe in the wonder and magic that they can inspire while telling a story. Along with that, I even believe in each person being a significant character in their own life. But when watching Disney movies all too often I forget about the story from the perspective of the comedic snow man, or the handsome prince, I forget about the sister or the mother, the best friend or the seven weird looking guys. I have my role to play in the movie of life, but I’m not the main character. I don’t get to go around flying off the handle when things don’t turn out the way I imagined. It’s not about me. It never was.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Monday, April 15, 2013
Making Much of Me or Him?
It’s been quite a while since I’ve written much. I’m not sure why but tonight seems to be a night for writing, so we’ll see what happens.
My daily schedule has been a little monotonous lately. Quite frankly, I find myself living for the weekends and as I sit and think about it, I know an awful lot of people who are right there along with me.
But...I read a quote today that struck me.
“This after all is the goal of the American Dream: To make much of ourselves. But here the Gospel and the American Dream are clearly and ultimately antithetical to each other. While the goal of the American Dream is to make much of us, the goal of the Gospel is to make much of God.”
I think the reason this quote struck me is because I can relate to this. I have found myself pursuing this so called 'American Dream’ during my weeks. I get up and work the day away, I check things off my ’to do list’ and I crawl into bed feeling exhausted and almost sorry for myself for having to work ’so hard’ (I sound like a total spoiled baby here).
But when I read this quote I have a major “Check your motives” moment. You see, I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with the American Dream, I’m just examining my motives for doing anything and everything that I’ve put on my to do list lately (which is quite long by the way). <--- you see, I’m kinda a spoiled brat.
Basically, tonight I’m sitting here just thinking of the reasons behind all of my ‘to dos’. The real question that gives insight to my motives is; Am I making much of myself or much of God through all these things?
Here is where I admit that I have fallen short. I have lacked the ambition and motivation that God is calling us toward. I have failed.
In all that I’m doing I’m not constantly making much of God. Sometimes I find I am stuck in this world where I am striving and constantly trying to keep up with the latest and greatest in order to reach some sort of finished and complete version of me and when I’m stuck in that world it is ALL ABOUT ME! Then I remember so clearly when I read a quote like the one above what this life is all about, it’s not about me at all. I’m a part of a story that is so big and so intricate that it’s impossible for everything to be about me.
The reality is, I will never be a complete and finished, perfect person. I will most likely always have a ’to do’ list. And so, when I look at my ‘to do’ list tomorrow I will continue to do my best in checking off tasks, but I can feel a renewed sense of purpose in those things, an excitement to accomplish what ever it is that makes much of God and less of what makes much of me.
My daily schedule has been a little monotonous lately. Quite frankly, I find myself living for the weekends and as I sit and think about it, I know an awful lot of people who are right there along with me.
But...I read a quote today that struck me.
“This after all is the goal of the American Dream: To make much of ourselves. But here the Gospel and the American Dream are clearly and ultimately antithetical to each other. While the goal of the American Dream is to make much of us, the goal of the Gospel is to make much of God.”
I think the reason this quote struck me is because I can relate to this. I have found myself pursuing this so called 'American Dream’ during my weeks. I get up and work the day away, I check things off my ’to do list’ and I crawl into bed feeling exhausted and almost sorry for myself for having to work ’so hard’ (I sound like a total spoiled baby here).
But when I read this quote I have a major “Check your motives” moment. You see, I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with the American Dream, I’m just examining my motives for doing anything and everything that I’ve put on my to do list lately (which is quite long by the way). <--- you see, I’m kinda a spoiled brat.
Basically, tonight I’m sitting here just thinking of the reasons behind all of my ‘to dos’. The real question that gives insight to my motives is; Am I making much of myself or much of God through all these things?
Here is where I admit that I have fallen short. I have lacked the ambition and motivation that God is calling us toward. I have failed.
In all that I’m doing I’m not constantly making much of God. Sometimes I find I am stuck in this world where I am striving and constantly trying to keep up with the latest and greatest in order to reach some sort of finished and complete version of me and when I’m stuck in that world it is ALL ABOUT ME! Then I remember so clearly when I read a quote like the one above what this life is all about, it’s not about me at all. I’m a part of a story that is so big and so intricate that it’s impossible for everything to be about me.
The reality is, I will never be a complete and finished, perfect person. I will most likely always have a ’to do’ list. And so, when I look at my ‘to do’ list tomorrow I will continue to do my best in checking off tasks, but I can feel a renewed sense of purpose in those things, an excitement to accomplish what ever it is that makes much of God and less of what makes much of me.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Simple Update for the New Year
The beginning of the year always warrants a little update on my life. I have to say I didn’t really make any New Year’s resolutions last year, and I haven’t really felt the need to make any resolutions this year either. I guess it’s not that I don’t feel that resolutions aren’t a good thing, I have just set goals throughout the whole year and continue to set goals to better myself as a person, as a child of God, as a fiance, as a daughter and sister, as a friend, as a teacher and coach. There are always so many things that I’m striving for and that means that I’m constantly failing and constantly picking myself back up and trying again. I’m never all put together and I’m never a finished product.
Some of the more recent goals I’ve been working toward can serve as an update.
Lance- Our wedding is July 13. There are obvious goals here that we’ve got to get accomplished and honestly we are off to a good start. I guess my more subtle goal related to this would be to enjoy this journey and enjoy this time. It’s easy to be sad that we live 3 hours apart, it’s easy to be disappointed that we don’t get to spend much time together and it’s easy to wish for July 13 to be here as quickly as possible. All those things are so hard for me to put aside because I cannot wait to be Lance’s wife, but I know that this time in our relationship is just as important as the time that we get after we are married and I would like to enjoy this time too.
Insanity- Ugh…fitness goal are to simply be healthy. :)
Teaching- Some of you may know that I’ve had the challenge of putting together a curriculum that aligns to the Iowa Core. It’s not a small task and very time consuming, but my goal is to make Math relevant for my 7th graders.
This is one of my less inspired post, I hope it serves as a simple update.
Some of the more recent goals I’ve been working toward can serve as an update.
Lance- Our wedding is July 13. There are obvious goals here that we’ve got to get accomplished and honestly we are off to a good start. I guess my more subtle goal related to this would be to enjoy this journey and enjoy this time. It’s easy to be sad that we live 3 hours apart, it’s easy to be disappointed that we don’t get to spend much time together and it’s easy to wish for July 13 to be here as quickly as possible. All those things are so hard for me to put aside because I cannot wait to be Lance’s wife, but I know that this time in our relationship is just as important as the time that we get after we are married and I would like to enjoy this time too.
Insanity- Ugh…fitness goal are to simply be healthy. :)
Teaching- Some of you may know that I’ve had the challenge of putting together a curriculum that aligns to the Iowa Core. It’s not a small task and very time consuming, but my goal is to make Math relevant for my 7th graders.
This is one of my less inspired post, I hope it serves as a simple update.
All We Need is Love, Furious Love
**Disclaimer: With so many opinions flying around about subjects closely related to this blog, I want to make it clear that I respect the thoughts and ideas of others and I’m in no way claiming my opinions to be ‘right’ or ‘better’.
It’s so hard to look at the world. Just watching the news makes me want to take every ounce of innocence that is left in this world and keep that innocence hidden away and protected.
There are tragic events that are told, there are scandals and cheating that are uncovered, there are countless stories of heartache, hate and belittling. It’s heartbreaking to think that the all of human’s existence has come to this.
Normally I’m not one to focus on the negatives and honestly I try very hard to not watch the news and get caught up in all the ugly things going on in this world. I will continue to do that. But first I have something that I need to throw out there.
There are so many theories about the reasons for some of the more tragic and prominently covered events. Some people think that the reason someone could commit these terrible tragedies is because they have access to guns, or they spend too much time playing video games, or they are mental ill, or a whole host of other reasons.
I can’t say that I believe any of these things can really be ruled out, but I do believe there is more to the story.
I read a snippet from one of my favorite authors, Brennan Manning, recently. I’ll paraphrase,
‘If you took all of the great mothers and fathers in the entire world and combined all their selfless and unconditional love, all their patience and goodness, all their wisdom , all of their tenderness and all of their kindness and put all that into one person. That one person would merely stand in the shadows of the furious love God has for us.’
To most people that may seem a little off topic, but really when you think about a love this big, you can’t help but realize that a love this big changes people. God’s love is more influencing than that of amazing parents or a kind mentor. If some tragedies could be kept from happening just because of the love and influence of a parent or mentor, how much more change could we see in the world if the love of God was experienced by so many?
That, the furious love of God, is the reason I can’t solely blame guns and video games.
It’s so hard to look at the world. Just watching the news makes me want to take every ounce of innocence that is left in this world and keep that innocence hidden away and protected.
There are tragic events that are told, there are scandals and cheating that are uncovered, there are countless stories of heartache, hate and belittling. It’s heartbreaking to think that the all of human’s existence has come to this.
Normally I’m not one to focus on the negatives and honestly I try very hard to not watch the news and get caught up in all the ugly things going on in this world. I will continue to do that. But first I have something that I need to throw out there.
There are so many theories about the reasons for some of the more tragic and prominently covered events. Some people think that the reason someone could commit these terrible tragedies is because they have access to guns, or they spend too much time playing video games, or they are mental ill, or a whole host of other reasons.
I can’t say that I believe any of these things can really be ruled out, but I do believe there is more to the story.
I read a snippet from one of my favorite authors, Brennan Manning, recently. I’ll paraphrase,
‘If you took all of the great mothers and fathers in the entire world and combined all their selfless and unconditional love, all their patience and goodness, all their wisdom , all of their tenderness and all of their kindness and put all that into one person. That one person would merely stand in the shadows of the furious love God has for us.’
To most people that may seem a little off topic, but really when you think about a love this big, you can’t help but realize that a love this big changes people. God’s love is more influencing than that of amazing parents or a kind mentor. If some tragedies could be kept from happening just because of the love and influence of a parent or mentor, how much more change could we see in the world if the love of God was experienced by so many?
That, the furious love of God, is the reason I can’t solely blame guns and video games.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Thanksgiving and Humility?
Whoooa!!! Watch out, Anna’s gonna blog… yikes!!! It’s been a while, do I still remember how to do this?
Just write what’s on your heart, right?
Ok, I can do that.
Honestly, I’ve got a heart that’s a little full right now so this should work out.
-News Flash--This week is Thanksgiving(I know, I know…really??) :)
Most posts around this time of year are all about how much we have to be grateful for and how thankful the blogger is about this and that. Well, this one might take a little different spin.
As most of you know, I teach. I do it for a living. I teach spunky 13 year olds and I teach crazy 18-20 year olds. I love it, I love to teach. In fact, can’t imagine doing anything else.
Well, this afternoon on my lunch break from teaching those spunky teenagers I was reading a devotional by John Piper. And my heart instantly began to trickle full of thoughts of gratefulness. Now, this wasn’t the afore mentioned, typical devotion on being thankful or grateful, it had a different spin.
The Bible warns that ‘in the last days there will come times of stress. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful’ (2 Tim 3;1-2)
Side note- looking around the world today how sad is it that these things are so evident, it makes my heart hurt…anyway…
It is later pointed out that gratitude is the opposite of all of these 'ugly' things. Further, the reason for this is that the feeling of gratitude is a feeling of being humbled.
In this life we have done nothing that is good, not one thing. We deserve death. We are condemned. We have no reason or right to be arrogant or proud.
BUT
We have the grace of a loving God who has given everything so that we may experience life, so that we are not condemned, so that we can show goodness and show love.
If that is not the definition of humble, I don’t know what is.
As I think to the lives that I am blessed to interact with everyday, whether it be the middle schoolers, the athletes, my family or even myself. I pray that I am humbled to be in a situation where I can love on them, walk with them, encourage them and impact their lives in a grater way.
When I think about what it really means to be thankful on Thursday, I will be looking through a lens of humility because ultimately I deserve nothing I have and I’m grateful for a God who loves me bigger than I will ever understand.
Just write what’s on your heart, right?
Ok, I can do that.
Honestly, I’ve got a heart that’s a little full right now so this should work out.
-News Flash--This week is Thanksgiving(I know, I know…really??) :)
Most posts around this time of year are all about how much we have to be grateful for and how thankful the blogger is about this and that. Well, this one might take a little different spin.
As most of you know, I teach. I do it for a living. I teach spunky 13 year olds and I teach crazy 18-20 year olds. I love it, I love to teach. In fact, can’t imagine doing anything else.
Well, this afternoon on my lunch break from teaching those spunky teenagers I was reading a devotional by John Piper. And my heart instantly began to trickle full of thoughts of gratefulness. Now, this wasn’t the afore mentioned, typical devotion on being thankful or grateful, it had a different spin.
The Bible warns that ‘in the last days there will come times of stress. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful’ (2 Tim 3;1-2)
Side note- looking around the world today how sad is it that these things are so evident, it makes my heart hurt…anyway…
It is later pointed out that gratitude is the opposite of all of these 'ugly' things. Further, the reason for this is that the feeling of gratitude is a feeling of being humbled.
In this life we have done nothing that is good, not one thing. We deserve death. We are condemned. We have no reason or right to be arrogant or proud.
BUT
We have the grace of a loving God who has given everything so that we may experience life, so that we are not condemned, so that we can show goodness and show love.
If that is not the definition of humble, I don’t know what is.
As I think to the lives that I am blessed to interact with everyday, whether it be the middle schoolers, the athletes, my family or even myself. I pray that I am humbled to be in a situation where I can love on them, walk with them, encourage them and impact their lives in a grater way.
When I think about what it really means to be thankful on Thursday, I will be looking through a lens of humility because ultimately I deserve nothing I have and I’m grateful for a God who loves me bigger than I will ever understand.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
I’m Getting Married!!!
This blog is a long time coming!!!
One week ago today Lance got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I will never forget that moment, I will never forget his face while he was asking me, excitement, nerves, a big smile…it was perfect.
For those of you who haven’t heard the story yet, the really important part that you will want to know is that Lance had sent me a text earlier that week and told me that he loves everything about me and wouldn't want to change a single thing. However, as he was pulling the ring out he told me that he actually would like to change something about me, he didn’t want me as a girlfriend anymore but rather he wants to marry me. It was that fairy tale moment that every little girl dreams about. It was also something that I had been praying to hear from a man such as him for a very long time.
In all of this excitement and overly excessive joy there has been something that has stood out to me in this last week. I’ve been amazed at how God speaks to us and meets us where we are and in every situation we find ourselves. There have been several times this week, starting with the sermon on Sunday morning where I’ve found myself listening or reading God’s words on marriage. The re ac curing theme is from Ruth.
I can’t even express to you how excited I am to marry this man. He has made me a better person and loves and adores me for everything that makes me who I am. He prays with me and prays for me, he challenges and encourages me and he even calls me out when I need to be held accountable. I’ve never felt more loved by any single person. I’ve never felt so lucky to have been giving this precious gift of a relationship with him.
I’m more than delighted to say that I’ve found a to man whom I can say, 'Where you go, I go. Where you will stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God’.
And as a couple, as Lance and Anna, the future Mr. and Mrs. Moser, we will rejoice in the gift of each other in our lives and the gift of love that has been entrusted to us.
One week ago today Lance got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I will never forget that moment, I will never forget his face while he was asking me, excitement, nerves, a big smile…it was perfect.
For those of you who haven’t heard the story yet, the really important part that you will want to know is that Lance had sent me a text earlier that week and told me that he loves everything about me and wouldn't want to change a single thing. However, as he was pulling the ring out he told me that he actually would like to change something about me, he didn’t want me as a girlfriend anymore but rather he wants to marry me. It was that fairy tale moment that every little girl dreams about. It was also something that I had been praying to hear from a man such as him for a very long time.
In all of this excitement and overly excessive joy there has been something that has stood out to me in this last week. I’ve been amazed at how God speaks to us and meets us where we are and in every situation we find ourselves. There have been several times this week, starting with the sermon on Sunday morning where I’ve found myself listening or reading God’s words on marriage. The re ac curing theme is from Ruth.
Where you go, I go. Where you will stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God.
I can’t even express to you how excited I am to marry this man. He has made me a better person and loves and adores me for everything that makes me who I am. He prays with me and prays for me, he challenges and encourages me and he even calls me out when I need to be held accountable. I’ve never felt more loved by any single person. I’ve never felt so lucky to have been giving this precious gift of a relationship with him.
I’m more than delighted to say that I’ve found a to man whom I can say, 'Where you go, I go. Where you will stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God’.
Monday, April 30, 2012
A Both Kinda Day
Today was a day of really great things.
I had a cranky, crabby, tough day today.
Confused?
I would be too if I were you.
When I woke up this morning I was undecided on how my day would go. Normally I can wake up and sense that right away it’s going to be a ‘I wish I could stay in bed all day’ kinda day, or a ‘this is going to be a rockin awesome’ day.
Today was neither of those.
Today was actually both of those, but I just didn’t know it yet.
Because I was undecided on how my day was about to go I decided that I needed to take some time to talk to God. I found myself turning the radio off and actually talking out loud to God. I’m sure I looked/sounded like a fool if anyone would have seen/heard me. Oh well…not the first time… :)
It’s been a while since I talked to God. I mean, I’ve prayed a lot lately and a lot about specific things, but all my prayers have been in passing or while I’m falling asleep. So, this was different. This was good.
After that, I thought that there might be some hope for the day to turn out pretty good, little did I know today was the day for every seventh grade Math student to ‘forget’ all the wonderful mathematical wisdom their loving teacher had bestowed upon them. It was also the perfect day for all middle schoolers and their teachers to want more than anything for it to be summer….ugh!
So, as you can see, really good and really not so good.
But here is where me making sense of things really does get good. After chatting with God this morning, God showed me that He is in control and He has a plan, He showed me that there is light to look forward to in something that before seemed so negative and dark. It was something I needed.
I was also reminded today after school that the reason that I’m in teaching isn’t to be mad at kids all the time. I’m there to build relationships and enjoy them. I have to be a resilient teacher and have some fun sometimes.
God is so good to me. The lessons I'm thrown into never cease to amaze me. I’m blessed in the rockin awesome days and I’m blessed through the days where I wish I would have just stayed in bed.
I had a cranky, crabby, tough day today.
Confused?
I would be too if I were you.
When I woke up this morning I was undecided on how my day would go. Normally I can wake up and sense that right away it’s going to be a ‘I wish I could stay in bed all day’ kinda day, or a ‘this is going to be a rockin awesome’ day.
Today was neither of those.
Today was actually both of those, but I just didn’t know it yet.
Because I was undecided on how my day was about to go I decided that I needed to take some time to talk to God. I found myself turning the radio off and actually talking out loud to God. I’m sure I looked/sounded like a fool if anyone would have seen/heard me. Oh well…not the first time… :)
It’s been a while since I talked to God. I mean, I’ve prayed a lot lately and a lot about specific things, but all my prayers have been in passing or while I’m falling asleep. So, this was different. This was good.
After that, I thought that there might be some hope for the day to turn out pretty good, little did I know today was the day for every seventh grade Math student to ‘forget’ all the wonderful mathematical wisdom their loving teacher had bestowed upon them. It was also the perfect day for all middle schoolers and their teachers to want more than anything for it to be summer….ugh!
So, as you can see, really good and really not so good.
But here is where me making sense of things really does get good. After chatting with God this morning, God showed me that He is in control and He has a plan, He showed me that there is light to look forward to in something that before seemed so negative and dark. It was something I needed.
I was also reminded today after school that the reason that I’m in teaching isn’t to be mad at kids all the time. I’m there to build relationships and enjoy them. I have to be a resilient teacher and have some fun sometimes.
God is so good to me. The lessons I'm thrown into never cease to amaze me. I’m blessed in the rockin awesome days and I’m blessed through the days where I wish I would have just stayed in bed.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Good Friday Till Now
Well I've made it through Lent. This is the last of my weekly post challenge. It's been good for me. I'm glad I decided to do this, I've been able to reflect often, and you kown what they say about self reflection, it allows growth.
As for the blog today it is only fitting that I write my thoughts on Easter.
My thoughts on Easter as of right now (Good Friday) are very mournful. Tonight I watched the Passion of the Christ and it was very much an experience that left me speechless. I've always read the story of the cruxifixction and I found myself even knowing what the next line in the movie was most of the time. But never had I ever really visually see the sacrifice. The brutal beating, the bloody agony, all of it so real. All of it for me.
Tonight for the first time it is really hard for me to see to Easter in light of Good Friday.
In the past I would go through Holy week thinking and feeling as though things were just fine because frankly, I know the end of the story. But tonight for the first time I can see how devistating and heartbreaking it would have been for the diciples, for me, who watched their King beaten and killed.
Lucky for me, I still know how the story ends. It doesn't end with cross. It doesn't end with pain, blood and suffering. The real Easter story is in the journey that start on Good Friday but is not finished until three days later. I'm just lucky enough to know this already.
After sleeping restlessly, I've concluded that it is a good thing I know how the story ends. Today is a day for celebration, a day to remember the ultimate sacrifice that was made out of great love for us, people who are not good people. It's a day to rejoice in the risen Christ and a day to be reminded of how big we are loved. Sure there is joy in Easter egg hunts and children singing at church, but the joy of all of those thing seems so trival in comparson to the great joy of knowing that I, the greatest of sinners, was loved enough to die for. I was loved enough to be saved.
As for the blog today it is only fitting that I write my thoughts on Easter.
My thoughts on Easter as of right now (Good Friday) are very mournful. Tonight I watched the Passion of the Christ and it was very much an experience that left me speechless. I've always read the story of the cruxifixction and I found myself even knowing what the next line in the movie was most of the time. But never had I ever really visually see the sacrifice. The brutal beating, the bloody agony, all of it so real. All of it for me.
Tonight for the first time it is really hard for me to see to Easter in light of Good Friday.
In the past I would go through Holy week thinking and feeling as though things were just fine because frankly, I know the end of the story. But tonight for the first time I can see how devistating and heartbreaking it would have been for the diciples, for me, who watched their King beaten and killed.
Lucky for me, I still know how the story ends. It doesn't end with cross. It doesn't end with pain, blood and suffering. The real Easter story is in the journey that start on Good Friday but is not finished until three days later. I'm just lucky enough to know this already.
After sleeping restlessly, I've concluded that it is a good thing I know how the story ends. Today is a day for celebration, a day to remember the ultimate sacrifice that was made out of great love for us, people who are not good people. It's a day to rejoice in the risen Christ and a day to be reminded of how big we are loved. Sure there is joy in Easter egg hunts and children singing at church, but the joy of all of those thing seems so trival in comparson to the great joy of knowing that I, the greatest of sinners, was loved enough to die for. I was loved enough to be saved.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Priorities
The topic of priorities has been on my mind this week.
(notice how this post is at the very end of my ‘once weekly’ deadline--priorities got in the way) :)
There are a lot of very big very important parts of my life, those include my faith, my family, my boy, and my job. When it comes to balancing those thing, I struggle. It’s been pointed out to me that I struggle and even more, this is a self admitted weakness.
The reason for this post is to challenge myself to make sure that I keep the order of those priorities in mind. I blogged this last January about being able to say no more often. To be honest, it’s only happened a little bit.
Being busy and involved and saying yes to everything is the person I’ve been all my life, just ask my mom! But, I’m coming to terms with the fact that this is not ok.
This week my grandpa was hospitalized. He had several things go wrong with medication and oxygen and on and on. It was to the point where after school on Monday Lance and I rushed the 5 hours to So. IA to see him. Seeing my grandpa in such pain and so weak was rough on me. It was rough on my whole family.
My Spidy sense of priorities kicked in at that moment. My whole family was there, supporting and helping each other, we turned to each other. Of course, the wise old fart that is my grandpa taught me a lesson even while laying in the hospital bed. It was a lesson of priorities and it came in the form of my grandpa being adamant about meeting Lance.
I can’t tell you how ‘taken care of’ I felt when the first coherent thing my grandpa said to me was, ‘Where’s this man of yours?” He spoke directly to my heart, that is what I wanted to hear because the truth is that in this moment of overwhelming crisis Lance took care of me.
It’s hard for me to put into words how important these people are in my life. And yes, I know I left out the aspect of my faith a little. To be fair, I without a doubt turned to prayer during this as well. But I’m reminded more and more that it’s all about relationships, especially relationships that are there for you when there are rough patches.
Now, here is the challenge I referred to before (this is for myself more than anything). Before you commit to doing more and helping with more, and being on one more committee, take a close look at those important to you. Can you be doing more to show them that they are a priority to you? Be a better sister, daughter, girlfriend.
(notice how this post is at the very end of my ‘once weekly’ deadline--priorities got in the way) :)
There are a lot of very big very important parts of my life, those include my faith, my family, my boy, and my job. When it comes to balancing those thing, I struggle. It’s been pointed out to me that I struggle and even more, this is a self admitted weakness.
The reason for this post is to challenge myself to make sure that I keep the order of those priorities in mind. I blogged this last January about being able to say no more often. To be honest, it’s only happened a little bit.
Being busy and involved and saying yes to everything is the person I’ve been all my life, just ask my mom! But, I’m coming to terms with the fact that this is not ok.
My Spidy sense of priorities kicked in at that moment. My whole family was there, supporting and helping each other, we turned to each other. Of course, the wise old fart that is my grandpa taught me a lesson even while laying in the hospital bed. It was a lesson of priorities and it came in the form of my grandpa being adamant about meeting Lance.
I can’t tell you how ‘taken care of’ I felt when the first coherent thing my grandpa said to me was, ‘Where’s this man of yours?” He spoke directly to my heart, that is what I wanted to hear because the truth is that in this moment of overwhelming crisis Lance took care of me.
It’s hard for me to put into words how important these people are in my life. And yes, I know I left out the aspect of my faith a little. To be fair, I without a doubt turned to prayer during this as well. But I’m reminded more and more that it’s all about relationships, especially relationships that are there for you when there are rough patches.
Now, here is the challenge I referred to before (this is for myself more than anything). Before you commit to doing more and helping with more, and being on one more committee, take a close look at those important to you. Can you be doing more to show them that they are a priority to you? Be a better sister, daughter, girlfriend.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
A Night for Blogging
Tonight is a night for blogging.
Partially because I have to get my weekly blog in for my lent challenge. I need to do this especially because I’m kinda failing at my devo lent challenge. I’ve been getting an average of a devo a day, but sometimes it’s more like two every other day. I’ve kinda let myself down in the area of my lent challenge. :(
Either way, tonight is a blogging night.
I had a little fun, I went back and looked through some of my blogs over the last year. It’s been a full year since my very first blog, kinda weird, time flies!
It was fun for me to see all the stages of life I went through in one year. There is so much growth that happens. It’s fun to have that documented. It’s also very humbling and very much a constant reminder of the changes that are still happening in me.
Here is a run down of some of the things I’ve learned in this past year:
1. I have to choose to just be sometimes and not always worry about all the things there are for me to be doing.
2. That loving hard is when we have to love as hard as we can AND love through the hard times.
3. I disliked decisions a year ago and I dislike decisions now.
4. I always have an always will love a good wedding!
5. Learning from kids is the best way to gain insight from life. Oh and my niece is the cutest!
6. A little heartbreak is not always a bad thing, even though it sucks.
7. I am beloved.
8. I love feeling small and when I look up at the stars, I feel small.
9. I rely on Disney movies to teach me lessons about life.
10. I can fall madly in love with an amazing guy.
This is by no means a comprehensive list of the lessons I’ve learned in the last year, however it is cool for me to see all the things I’ve been learning.
It is a huge blessing to know that God has placed opportunities and people in my life to continue to grow me into what he has planned.
Thank you for giving me those opportunities and being those people! You have blessed me!
Partially because I have to get my weekly blog in for my lent challenge. I need to do this especially because I’m kinda failing at my devo lent challenge. I’ve been getting an average of a devo a day, but sometimes it’s more like two every other day. I’ve kinda let myself down in the area of my lent challenge. :(
Either way, tonight is a blogging night.
I had a little fun, I went back and looked through some of my blogs over the last year. It’s been a full year since my very first blog, kinda weird, time flies!
It was fun for me to see all the stages of life I went through in one year. There is so much growth that happens. It’s fun to have that documented. It’s also very humbling and very much a constant reminder of the changes that are still happening in me.
Here is a run down of some of the things I’ve learned in this past year:
1. I have to choose to just be sometimes and not always worry about all the things there are for me to be doing.
2. That loving hard is when we have to love as hard as we can AND love through the hard times.
3. I disliked decisions a year ago and I dislike decisions now.
4. I always have an always will love a good wedding!
5. Learning from kids is the best way to gain insight from life. Oh and my niece is the cutest!
6. A little heartbreak is not always a bad thing, even though it sucks.
7. I am beloved.
8. I love feeling small and when I look up at the stars, I feel small.
9. I rely on Disney movies to teach me lessons about life.
10. I can fall madly in love with an amazing guy.
This is by no means a comprehensive list of the lessons I’ve learned in the last year, however it is cool for me to see all the things I’ve been learning.
It is a huge blessing to know that God has placed opportunities and people in my life to continue to grow me into what he has planned.
Thank you for giving me those opportunities and being those people! You have blessed me!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
A Few Little Things
Wow. I feel as though I have a lot to blog about. And really I should, but even though that may be the case, I think I might keep this short and sweet.
There are really two very unrelated things on my mind.
First, Northwestern Women’s Basketball has done it again. National Champions for three years in a row and four of the last five. SaaWeeeeeet!!! :) This season was a blast and most of all this last Tuesday night was a blast. We beat College of the Ozarks decidedly for the title.
For those of you who know me well, you know that I’m not one to ask for or even want a big deal made about something like this. It’s funny that I’m that way because this season the girls on the team and the coaches I worked with are similar to that. The word humble doesn’t even begin to describe this amazing team and coaches. On Tuesday there was so much to celebrate and through it all the glory was given to each other but even more so to the One who gave us all our gifts and talents. It was pretty sweet to be a part of. At the end of the season I’m thankful for the successes and celebrations we’ve had, but I’m also thankful for the lessons we’ve learned and the relationships we built.
Congratulations Red Raiders!!!!!
Secondly, decisions. I’ve blogged before about decisions and how much I really don’t like them. You can ask Lance, he gets a chuckle out of my decision making ablity…because it doesn’t exist. I hate thinking about the decisions I have to make that affect my future, it stresses me out. But, today on my run I had a God moment. When I look at my life and all the decisions that I’ve made or that were made for me have brought me to this place now. I can’t look at that and say it was coincidence. There was a divine hand in all that has become of my life. Knowing that, it is a relief to be able to confidently and prayerfully make decisions. I know that everything will be exactly what it is meant to be, an adventure. What a relief.
There are really two very unrelated things on my mind.
First, Northwestern Women’s Basketball has done it again. National Champions for three years in a row and four of the last five. SaaWeeeeeet!!! :) This season was a blast and most of all this last Tuesday night was a blast. We beat College of the Ozarks decidedly for the title.
For those of you who know me well, you know that I’m not one to ask for or even want a big deal made about something like this. It’s funny that I’m that way because this season the girls on the team and the coaches I worked with are similar to that. The word humble doesn’t even begin to describe this amazing team and coaches. On Tuesday there was so much to celebrate and through it all the glory was given to each other but even more so to the One who gave us all our gifts and talents. It was pretty sweet to be a part of. At the end of the season I’m thankful for the successes and celebrations we’ve had, but I’m also thankful for the lessons we’ve learned and the relationships we built.
Congratulations Red Raiders!!!!!
Secondly, decisions. I’ve blogged before about decisions and how much I really don’t like them. You can ask Lance, he gets a chuckle out of my decision making ablity…because it doesn’t exist. I hate thinking about the decisions I have to make that affect my future, it stresses me out. But, today on my run I had a God moment. When I look at my life and all the decisions that I’ve made or that were made for me have brought me to this place now. I can’t look at that and say it was coincidence. There was a divine hand in all that has become of my life. Knowing that, it is a relief to be able to confidently and prayerfully make decisions. I know that everything will be exactly what it is meant to be, an adventure. What a relief.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
The Start of Tournament Week
Tonight’s post is a two fold post. Yesterday I had my heart strings tugged not only once but twice…and in a matter of hours! You guys are in for a treat!
This week is NAIA DII Women’s National Basketball tournament week! Thinking back over the last few years during this time I have nothing but excitement for the girls who are in Sioux City. There were some of my greatest memories made at the tournament and it’s so fun to be back there and be able to encourage more to continue making memories.
The week of tournament action always starts off with a praise service. For the last few years the musically talented (not me) girls from NWC have taken the lead in organizing the service and leading the worship time. Last night was the service and it was an amazing way to kick off a great week.
Now to the part that tugged my heart strings… I’ve always been a strong believer in Music being able to evoke emotion and bring about feeling. There is something about a familiar song that can make a person feel comfortable. Just like most of you, I have some favorites, and it just so happens that last night several of those were played and sung by some amazing women I get to be impacted by.
I’ve decided to share a few lines of lyrics, just to give a little insight and maybe serve as a reminder to those who might know these songs.
…’So I’ll stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all. I’ll stand my soul, Lord, to you surrendered. All I have is Yours’… The Stand
…’What heights of love, what depths of peace. When fears are stilled, when striving cease. My comforter, my All in All. Here in the love of Christ I stand’… In Christ Alone
…’This is my prayer in the desert, and all that’s within me feels dry. This is my prayer in my hunger and need. My God is a God who provides. And I will bring praise. I will bring praise. No weapon formed against me will remain. I will rejoice, I will declare, He is my victory and He is here’… Desert Song
Good Stuff.
Oh-Kay. Now to part 2!
Last night was a big night for a man that has been very influential in my life.
Earl Woudstra was inducted into the NAIA Coaching Hall of Fame last night and I got to be in attendance to witness this great honor.
For those of you who don’t know Coach Woudstra, was the head coach at NWC for all four years while I was there. He racked up some pretty impressive coaching stats, but even more than that he is a man who I’m not sure I can describe by simply writing about him. If you watch his induction you get just the tip of the iceberg as to how amazing this man really is. He is one of the most devoted, humble, caring, passionate, loving men I know. While I was a player for him he took on the role of a father figure in my life and even now continues in this. Along with continually showing me that he genuinely cares for me, he has taught me numerous lessons for life though the sport of basketball. He is simply a great man.
This induction. . . along with some conversation about Coach Woudstra that I had with some other very impacted former players…got me thinking about the impact that a single person can have.
I think about Coach and how many, many people he has influenced. I could count the number, but it would be a very, very high number. For every player he had, Coach influenced far beyond just the player. It reached their families. It reached communities. He impacted the students his former players teach and he impacted the co-workers his former players have now. Who knows how far this really reaches.
How amazing is it to think about the impact you can have. To some, you may think that you are insignificant, you may think that you have very little to contribute. But, if you are even the slightest bit impactful to one person, think of the web of impact that starts and how meaningful it could be to someone you may have never met.
It’s overwhelming to think about but even more, it’s humbling to know that there is a God who orchestrates it all and He wants nothing more than for our lives to impact others in a way that shows more of Him.
This week is NAIA DII Women’s National Basketball tournament week! Thinking back over the last few years during this time I have nothing but excitement for the girls who are in Sioux City. There were some of my greatest memories made at the tournament and it’s so fun to be back there and be able to encourage more to continue making memories.
The week of tournament action always starts off with a praise service. For the last few years the musically talented (not me) girls from NWC have taken the lead in organizing the service and leading the worship time. Last night was the service and it was an amazing way to kick off a great week.
Now to the part that tugged my heart strings… I’ve always been a strong believer in Music being able to evoke emotion and bring about feeling. There is something about a familiar song that can make a person feel comfortable. Just like most of you, I have some favorites, and it just so happens that last night several of those were played and sung by some amazing women I get to be impacted by.
I’ve decided to share a few lines of lyrics, just to give a little insight and maybe serve as a reminder to those who might know these songs.
…’So I’ll stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all. I’ll stand my soul, Lord, to you surrendered. All I have is Yours’… The Stand
…’What heights of love, what depths of peace. When fears are stilled, when striving cease. My comforter, my All in All. Here in the love of Christ I stand’… In Christ Alone
…’This is my prayer in the desert, and all that’s within me feels dry. This is my prayer in my hunger and need. My God is a God who provides. And I will bring praise. I will bring praise. No weapon formed against me will remain. I will rejoice, I will declare, He is my victory and He is here’… Desert Song
Good Stuff.
Oh-Kay. Now to part 2!
Last night was a big night for a man that has been very influential in my life.
Earl Woudstra was inducted into the NAIA Coaching Hall of Fame last night and I got to be in attendance to witness this great honor.
For those of you who don’t know Coach Woudstra, was the head coach at NWC for all four years while I was there. He racked up some pretty impressive coaching stats, but even more than that he is a man who I’m not sure I can describe by simply writing about him. If you watch his induction you get just the tip of the iceberg as to how amazing this man really is. He is one of the most devoted, humble, caring, passionate, loving men I know. While I was a player for him he took on the role of a father figure in my life and even now continues in this. Along with continually showing me that he genuinely cares for me, he has taught me numerous lessons for life though the sport of basketball. He is simply a great man.
This induction. . . along with some conversation about Coach Woudstra that I had with some other very impacted former players…got me thinking about the impact that a single person can have.
I think about Coach and how many, many people he has influenced. I could count the number, but it would be a very, very high number. For every player he had, Coach influenced far beyond just the player. It reached their families. It reached communities. He impacted the students his former players teach and he impacted the co-workers his former players have now. Who knows how far this really reaches.
How amazing is it to think about the impact you can have. To some, you may think that you are insignificant, you may think that you have very little to contribute. But, if you are even the slightest bit impactful to one person, think of the web of impact that starts and how meaningful it could be to someone you may have never met.
It’s overwhelming to think about but even more, it’s humbling to know that there is a God who orchestrates it all and He wants nothing more than for our lives to impact others in a way that shows more of Him.
Monday, February 27, 2012
A Day in the Life
So here is the first of many follow up blogs to my previous Lent post… enjoy.
I was thinking about what I should blog about today…
So, I was thinking about what has been on my heart…
I realized that what is on my heart is really dependent of what I do during the day.
What I do during the day is really a full time job(outside of the actual full time job I have), but what’s on my heart is more than my full time job.
So, I’m left with a conundrum: how do I convey what it is that has been on my heart, how to I convey what it is that I’ve been dwelling on?
…maybe in the form of ‘a day in the life…’?
So, let’s try that.
Monday - A day in the life of Ms. Anderson- teacher, coach, girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend.
I woke up around 5:45 and listened, hoping the alarm would turn silent- I was hoping for a few extra minutes of rest. No luck.
I showered quickly and then gave my love and best wishes for a good day to the man I adore dearly.
I persuaded myself to look professional as I headed off to the job I’m convinced I’d be better at if I could wear sweatpants…coffee in hand of course.
I shaped and molded young minds in the ways of 7th grade Math along with dodging spit balls, attending endless meetings, adding to my to do list, crossing things off of my to do list, emailing parents, grading papers, planning lessons and giving out a few detentions all while praying for my sanity.
After lunch I did that all again- minus crossing things off my to do list.
End of school day. whew.
I ran home and had a great little chat with Al(roomie and one of my great friends), it was some much needed enjoyment of life. :)
I headed to basketball practice where I hope I was an encouragement and teacher to some amazing women who were in need of a little reminder as to why they play basketball even after tough losses.
I rushed home to do a few more things…these were ’things' for that ’thing’ where I get paid for what most people think only occupies my time from August to May for 7 hours a day (which is false!) (a.k.a. I did school work).
Then I got hungry and ate…unhealthily(popcorn and chocolate chips for supper…boo) :(
After that I thought about how much I should have worked out… but...
By then, my heart was so full of stuff…and my brain was so tired of constantly running, that I needed to just be fore a while. Which entails Facebook, Pintrest and other random blogs I follow. But then...
I finally got up the courage to put all of that STUFF down and pick up my devo (which has gone really well, btw.) and read a little, I was refreshed a little bit.
That was all followed by a lovely phone call to my mother and some chatting with my sister and then to top of my day, Lance. :)
Now, it’s time to crash…so I can do it all again tomorrow(except maybe eat a little healthier).
Moral of this story- There are a lot of things that happen in the course of my day that are matters of my heart: being in relationships, staying connected to my faith, teaching, coaching, encouraging, etc., etc.. (Side note I have a tendency to dwell and worry and stress on these matters of my heart).
It’s almost impossible to pick out all the things that are on my heart in a day and fit them all nicely into a blog post. I guess that is why blogging is more than a one time deal. That also means I guess you can look forward to more posts too. :)
I was thinking about what I should blog about today…
So, I was thinking about what has been on my heart…
I realized that what is on my heart is really dependent of what I do during the day.
What I do during the day is really a full time job(outside of the actual full time job I have), but what’s on my heart is more than my full time job.
So, I’m left with a conundrum: how do I convey what it is that has been on my heart, how to I convey what it is that I’ve been dwelling on?
…maybe in the form of ‘a day in the life…’?
So, let’s try that.
Monday - A day in the life of Ms. Anderson- teacher, coach, girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend.
I woke up around 5:45 and listened, hoping the alarm would turn silent- I was hoping for a few extra minutes of rest. No luck.
I showered quickly and then gave my love and best wishes for a good day to the man I adore dearly.
I persuaded myself to look professional as I headed off to the job I’m convinced I’d be better at if I could wear sweatpants…coffee in hand of course.
I shaped and molded young minds in the ways of 7th grade Math along with dodging spit balls, attending endless meetings, adding to my to do list, crossing things off of my to do list, emailing parents, grading papers, planning lessons and giving out a few detentions all while praying for my sanity.
After lunch I did that all again- minus crossing things off my to do list.
End of school day. whew.
I ran home and had a great little chat with Al(roomie and one of my great friends), it was some much needed enjoyment of life. :)
I headed to basketball practice where I hope I was an encouragement and teacher to some amazing women who were in need of a little reminder as to why they play basketball even after tough losses.
I rushed home to do a few more things…these were ’things' for that ’thing’ where I get paid for what most people think only occupies my time from August to May for 7 hours a day (which is false!) (a.k.a. I did school work).
Then I got hungry and ate…unhealthily(popcorn and chocolate chips for supper…boo) :(
After that I thought about how much I should have worked out… but...
By then, my heart was so full of stuff…and my brain was so tired of constantly running, that I needed to just be fore a while. Which entails Facebook, Pintrest and other random blogs I follow. But then...
I finally got up the courage to put all of that STUFF down and pick up my devo (which has gone really well, btw.) and read a little, I was refreshed a little bit.
That was all followed by a lovely phone call to my mother and some chatting with my sister and then to top of my day, Lance. :)
Now, it’s time to crash…so I can do it all again tomorrow(except maybe eat a little healthier).
Moral of this story- There are a lot of things that happen in the course of my day that are matters of my heart: being in relationships, staying connected to my faith, teaching, coaching, encouraging, etc., etc.. (Side note I have a tendency to dwell and worry and stress on these matters of my heart).
It’s almost impossible to pick out all the things that are on my heart in a day and fit them all nicely into a blog post. I guess that is why blogging is more than a one time deal. That also means I guess you can look forward to more posts too. :)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
The Lent Post
Today it begins.
Lent.
I’ve had more than one person ask me recently, ‘What are you giving up for lent???’
To that I’ve replied, ‘I haven’t really thought about it.’ …until I realized that it was just around the corner. Then I said, ‘I’m not sure.’
Enlightening, I know. :)
But…eventually, I came to a conclusion. I’m giving up nothing for lent. Nothing. Sweet.
Instead, I’m adding a couple things. I know, I know this seems EXTREMELY ironic since my last couple posts have been about how busy I am and how I need to start to say no to things. But, and this is a big but, I’ve decide these are good. These are things that are worth it.
I’m deciding on a daily devotion from a book called the Daily God Book by Erin Marshall. It’s a routine that I have fallen out of and really miss. I’m also blogging once a week. Get pumped! I know a lot of you have asked for more blogs and I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately but not only for the reason that I have such great friends asking for more of my thoughts. But more because I’ve forgotten, until recently, how much blogging about what is on my heart is a good way for me to sort through the things I’ve had on my mind. It’s soooo good for me!
So, get excited for some posts! I’ll update you on my life and what’s on my heart and to be honest I’ll probably post some random, silly things that I find on Pintrest, or that Lance posts on my Facebook wall, or that just pop into my head…be prepared! :)
The first is more of a reflection on my first devo of the Lent season.
It was based off Habakuk 1and 2: Let me turn your doubts into deeper faith.
I was reminded that we are in need. We are dependent on God and that is a good thing. We aren’t expected to rely on ourselves alone, we are wired to depend on God and when we don’t we are wrecked with worry and guilt and overcome by fear. There is peace in knowing that the Lord of the universe has it under control. Our questions, our fear, our doubts…my questions, my fears, my doubts are opportunities for God to show up in a big way (or a small way sometimes).
The prayer at the end of Habakkuk starts out saying, ‘Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds.’
That serves as a great reminder that even it times where I have unanswered questions God’s deeds are awe worthy. He has proven over and over that He is faithful.
This is good stuff. It’s so applicable when I think of all the unanswered questions about my life. Where will I be in a year? Where will those close to me be? Thinking about those things can be overwhelming, they can fill me with doubt. But I’m reminded that those are great opportunities for faith.
That is all I have for tonight. I hope your Lent season is off to a great start!
Lent.
I’ve had more than one person ask me recently, ‘What are you giving up for lent???’
To that I’ve replied, ‘I haven’t really thought about it.’ …until I realized that it was just around the corner. Then I said, ‘I’m not sure.’
Enlightening, I know. :)
But…eventually, I came to a conclusion. I’m giving up nothing for lent. Nothing. Sweet.
Instead, I’m adding a couple things. I know, I know this seems EXTREMELY ironic since my last couple posts have been about how busy I am and how I need to start to say no to things. But, and this is a big but, I’ve decide these are good. These are things that are worth it.
I’m deciding on a daily devotion from a book called the Daily God Book by Erin Marshall. It’s a routine that I have fallen out of and really miss. I’m also blogging once a week. Get pumped! I know a lot of you have asked for more blogs and I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately but not only for the reason that I have such great friends asking for more of my thoughts. But more because I’ve forgotten, until recently, how much blogging about what is on my heart is a good way for me to sort through the things I’ve had on my mind. It’s soooo good for me!
So, get excited for some posts! I’ll update you on my life and what’s on my heart and to be honest I’ll probably post some random, silly things that I find on Pintrest, or that Lance posts on my Facebook wall, or that just pop into my head…be prepared! :)
The first is more of a reflection on my first devo of the Lent season.
It was based off Habakuk 1and 2: Let me turn your doubts into deeper faith.
I was reminded that we are in need. We are dependent on God and that is a good thing. We aren’t expected to rely on ourselves alone, we are wired to depend on God and when we don’t we are wrecked with worry and guilt and overcome by fear. There is peace in knowing that the Lord of the universe has it under control. Our questions, our fear, our doubts…my questions, my fears, my doubts are opportunities for God to show up in a big way (or a small way sometimes).
The prayer at the end of Habakkuk starts out saying, ‘Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds.’
That serves as a great reminder that even it times where I have unanswered questions God’s deeds are awe worthy. He has proven over and over that He is faithful.
This is good stuff. It’s so applicable when I think of all the unanswered questions about my life. Where will I be in a year? Where will those close to me be? Thinking about those things can be overwhelming, they can fill me with doubt. But I’m reminded that those are great opportunities for faith.
That is all I have for tonight. I hope your Lent season is off to a great start!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
2012- A Year of No?
Well, I’m a couple days late here but welcome to 2012!
I had a great time ringing in the new year with a trip to Denver to celebrate with a special guy and watch the Chiefs beat the Broncos(insert fist pump here). Now, I’m back to reality. I’m back to school and basketball and balancing the many, many things I have fighting for my attention. I’m back to the life that I have a love hate relationship with. Which brings me to the reason why I’m blogging tonight.
It’s been a while since I shared much, but I think a lot of the reason for my absence from blogging is tied into the reason for my blog now.
Busy. What does that mean. I think I’ve used that word so much that it has lost it’s meaning to me. There are days when I feel as though I’m running around in circles without enough time to go from one project to the next. I love it and I hate it. I’m sure a lot of you can relate. I find projects that I get excited about and can jump into, giving up any free time I may have had in order to do more. It’s something I know is a fault of mine. I love helping and investing but I hate sacrificing and I hate saying no.
Since I know that most of you can relate to being busy (i’m sure that some of your lives make mine look like the life of a easy-going, fun-loving child). The thing I want to focus on is the fact that I hate saying no.
It’s a weird phenomenon but I’ve never been able to do it. It’s just two measly little letters, but for me it is a big step. I just can’t seem to drag myself to say no. I’m so bad that even when I know I can’t do something I find a way to tip toe around the issue until I have rehearsed a polite and acceptable way to say, ‘maybe not this time’. It’s a curse!
I’ve vented this to several of the people closest to me and the response is always the same, “it’s good you don’t want to say no, it shows how much of a caring and sacrificing person you are…blah…blah…blah.” I get it. Everyone thinks I’m so caring…but that is really because I NEVER SAY NO!! -whew! I got that off my chest!
I don’t think that it’s because I’m insecure and don’t want to let people down (I guess maybe on some level that is true). But really I think it is just simply because I have a hard time doing things 'half way'. If there is something I’m really passionate about I want to do everything I can to make that a priority. Problem: I’m passionate about several things. Now I have several things that are a priority. Each of those things requires time. Each of those things requires more and more commitment. Each of those things pulls me in a different direction. Yikes! Do you understand my problem!?!
After reflecting and really wrestling with this I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve got to start saying, ‘No!’. I have to do it no matter how much I don’t want to do it, I have to. I have to say no to new commitments, and little extra things (which I’m glad to hear is more acceptable when you are an adult), and I most importantly have to say no to lettings some of the things I’m passionate about get in the way of me being who I am.
When I get busy and start to spread myself too thin I loose some of the things that make me who I am(and I get sick). I can feel some of joy and some of my passion and some of my faith slipping away. I never want that, I hate that. I have to say no to letting that happen.
One of the great joys in life is being in relationship. I’m sure you’ve all read about that from me many times before. I never want my busy life to get into the way of my priority of being in relationship with my Redeemer, and I never want my busy life to get into the way of being in relationship with those who are close to me.
So, 2012 might be a year of saying No, so that I can enjoy more of what I’m meant to enjoy.
I had a great time ringing in the new year with a trip to Denver to celebrate with a special guy and watch the Chiefs beat the Broncos(insert fist pump here). Now, I’m back to reality. I’m back to school and basketball and balancing the many, many things I have fighting for my attention. I’m back to the life that I have a love hate relationship with. Which brings me to the reason why I’m blogging tonight.
It’s been a while since I shared much, but I think a lot of the reason for my absence from blogging is tied into the reason for my blog now.
Busy. What does that mean. I think I’ve used that word so much that it has lost it’s meaning to me. There are days when I feel as though I’m running around in circles without enough time to go from one project to the next. I love it and I hate it. I’m sure a lot of you can relate. I find projects that I get excited about and can jump into, giving up any free time I may have had in order to do more. It’s something I know is a fault of mine. I love helping and investing but I hate sacrificing and I hate saying no.
Since I know that most of you can relate to being busy (i’m sure that some of your lives make mine look like the life of a easy-going, fun-loving child). The thing I want to focus on is the fact that I hate saying no.
It’s a weird phenomenon but I’ve never been able to do it. It’s just two measly little letters, but for me it is a big step. I just can’t seem to drag myself to say no. I’m so bad that even when I know I can’t do something I find a way to tip toe around the issue until I have rehearsed a polite and acceptable way to say, ‘maybe not this time’. It’s a curse!
I’ve vented this to several of the people closest to me and the response is always the same, “it’s good you don’t want to say no, it shows how much of a caring and sacrificing person you are…blah…blah…blah.” I get it. Everyone thinks I’m so caring…but that is really because I NEVER SAY NO!! -whew! I got that off my chest!
I don’t think that it’s because I’m insecure and don’t want to let people down (I guess maybe on some level that is true). But really I think it is just simply because I have a hard time doing things 'half way'. If there is something I’m really passionate about I want to do everything I can to make that a priority. Problem: I’m passionate about several things. Now I have several things that are a priority. Each of those things requires time. Each of those things requires more and more commitment. Each of those things pulls me in a different direction. Yikes! Do you understand my problem!?!
After reflecting and really wrestling with this I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve got to start saying, ‘No!’. I have to do it no matter how much I don’t want to do it, I have to. I have to say no to new commitments, and little extra things (which I’m glad to hear is more acceptable when you are an adult), and I most importantly have to say no to lettings some of the things I’m passionate about get in the way of me being who I am.
When I get busy and start to spread myself too thin I loose some of the things that make me who I am(and I get sick). I can feel some of joy and some of my passion and some of my faith slipping away. I never want that, I hate that. I have to say no to letting that happen.
One of the great joys in life is being in relationship. I’m sure you’ve all read about that from me many times before. I never want my busy life to get into the way of my priority of being in relationship with my Redeemer, and I never want my busy life to get into the way of being in relationship with those who are close to me.
So, 2012 might be a year of saying No, so that I can enjoy more of what I’m meant to enjoy.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
A Christmas Post
I love Christmas time. I love the invisible joy that is floating around and sneaking inside people’s lives this time of year. Christmas music makes me smile. Christmas lights bring me joy. Gingerbread house making and decorating the Christmas tree, sigh, are…great. :) I love Christmas time.
It’s so fun to get together with friends and family and I find myself looking forward to it every year. This year is no different, I can’t wait! In my family Christmas has always been about family and about the reason we celebrate as a family. I’ve always appreciated being able to go to church on Christmas Eve and sing songs of joy about the Savior that was given on a cold winter night. It is the culmination of advent, the reason we have a Christmas to celebrate and I love it.
This could very easily turn into the ‘real reason for the season’ type of blog post but that’s not what I want to accomplish. Instead I simply want to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas. May they joy that is floating around find you celebrating with family and friends for all you have to be grateful for.
Merry Christmas!!
P.S.
One of my favorites, out of the mouths of babes:
It’s so fun to get together with friends and family and I find myself looking forward to it every year. This year is no different, I can’t wait! In my family Christmas has always been about family and about the reason we celebrate as a family. I’ve always appreciated being able to go to church on Christmas Eve and sing songs of joy about the Savior that was given on a cold winter night. It is the culmination of advent, the reason we have a Christmas to celebrate and I love it.
This could very easily turn into the ‘real reason for the season’ type of blog post but that’s not what I want to accomplish. Instead I simply want to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas. May they joy that is floating around find you celebrating with family and friends for all you have to be grateful for.
Merry Christmas!!
P.S.
One of my favorites, out of the mouths of babes:
 |
| "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. That is what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown." |
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
A Guy
This is a weird thing for me to blog about, I didn’t know if I’d ever get to write this blog…or even really want to write I blog as cliche as what I’m about to write. But--when I started this whole blog thing I said that the reason was for me to reflect and for me to write about what was on my heart.
If you are easily grossed out by affection, you can stop reading now... and feel free to keep your ‘puke!’ comments to yourself! :)
Here goes…
All my life I’ve prayed for a guy. Not just any guy, a special one, one just for me. I’ve prayed prayers of pleading and prayers of understanding, I’ve prayed prayers that asked for patience I’ve prayed that my controlling tendancies would be taken away from me. There were moments when I prayed for a guy to show up at a specific time and have qualities A-Z on my list of non-negotiables. But mostly I’ve trusted that God would provide and I continue to trust that God always provides for me.
Recently, well in the last 6 or so weeks, I seemed to have stumbled across a guy. At first I was very unsure of the timing and even if I was ready to give anything a try (I can write this because he already knows how this all went down :)). But I learned a very important lesson in the process of falling for this guy. I’ve learned how much being in a relationship and choosing a relationship is not about controlling situations or checking things off a list or even second guessing anything. I’ve learned that God is providing for me exactly what I’ve been praying for all this time: A guy. A guy who loves the Lord. A guy who puts his family first. A guy who adores me. A guy who can make me laugh for hours. A guy who loves kids. A guy who is humble and caring. A guy who would do anything for a friend. Just a guy.
Since relationships are one of my favorite things I think that it would be terrible of me to not mention that I really love being in a relationship like the one I have with this guy. I love having someone to call with good news. I love choosing to make him a priority. I love that he makes me a priority. I love having him kiss me goodnight. Hey, what can I say, we were made to be in relationships!
Anyway, I could go on writing about all of his great qualities and how he makes me feel all night but I have to get SOME sleep! :) Either way, for those of you who are my caring friends and family who have always worried about me, know that I’m happy and however this ends up I’ll be a better person for choosing a relationship with this guy.
If you are easily grossed out by affection, you can stop reading now... and feel free to keep your ‘puke!’ comments to yourself! :)
Here goes…
All my life I’ve prayed for a guy. Not just any guy, a special one, one just for me. I’ve prayed prayers of pleading and prayers of understanding, I’ve prayed prayers that asked for patience I’ve prayed that my controlling tendancies would be taken away from me. There were moments when I prayed for a guy to show up at a specific time and have qualities A-Z on my list of non-negotiables. But mostly I’ve trusted that God would provide and I continue to trust that God always provides for me.
Recently, well in the last 6 or so weeks, I seemed to have stumbled across a guy. At first I was very unsure of the timing and even if I was ready to give anything a try (I can write this because he already knows how this all went down :)). But I learned a very important lesson in the process of falling for this guy. I’ve learned how much being in a relationship and choosing a relationship is not about controlling situations or checking things off a list or even second guessing anything. I’ve learned that God is providing for me exactly what I’ve been praying for all this time: A guy. A guy who loves the Lord. A guy who puts his family first. A guy who adores me. A guy who can make me laugh for hours. A guy who loves kids. A guy who is humble and caring. A guy who would do anything for a friend. Just a guy.
Since relationships are one of my favorite things I think that it would be terrible of me to not mention that I really love being in a relationship like the one I have with this guy. I love having someone to call with good news. I love choosing to make him a priority. I love that he makes me a priority. I love having him kiss me goodnight. Hey, what can I say, we were made to be in relationships!
Anyway, I could go on writing about all of his great qualities and how he makes me feel all night but I have to get SOME sleep! :) Either way, for those of you who are my caring friends and family who have always worried about me, know that I’m happy and however this ends up I’ll be a better person for choosing a relationship with this guy.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Relationships…One of My Favorite Topics :)
It’s all about relationships…
Have you ever thought about this: A person can say they are ah-mazing, they can gloat and show off, they can tell you all the great things they are about and all the wonderful things they do… And you can believe them.
But.
If someone who knows them well, or even someone who doesn’t know them well tells you something about that person, it sticks with you.
Testimonies about a person have impact. They have even more impact when they aren’t solicited and when they are coming from someone who has nothing to gain in the situation.
The whole reason I was thinking about this was because for Bible study this week I went through John chapter 5. The second part of chapter 5 is Jesus saying-I know that I can testify about myself BUT things will be much more clear if you hear it from someone else, it just makes it more real.
Isn’t that so flipping true about any person in almost any situation???
Now, here is where I get the whole relationships notion. God is so frickin smart-- it’s all about relationships! We are designed by God to be in relationship and to be impacted by one another. Relationships are a blessing and they are the only thing that matters. God obviously knew this and along with that He knew that those relationships were what was going to spread Jesus and His love.
It makes you think…what would I say/write about myself and my life. Is that near as impactful as what other people would say/write about me? … And does it really even mater as long as I’m using my relationships to have the right kind of impact?
I love people, I love being in great relationships with people. I hope that my relationships, new and old, can testify to who I am as a person and mostly that I point to who Jesus is.
Father God, I’m thankful for the people you have blessed me to be in relationship with. Thank you for their insights, for their challenges, for their encouragement and for their love. Lord, I pray that we can be a testimony to the world about how each of us has impacted each other in a major way. I pray that even more-so that the impact we’ve had has been because of the love that you first showed to us. Amen.
Have you ever thought about this: A person can say they are ah-mazing, they can gloat and show off, they can tell you all the great things they are about and all the wonderful things they do… And you can believe them.
But.
If someone who knows them well, or even someone who doesn’t know them well tells you something about that person, it sticks with you.
Testimonies about a person have impact. They have even more impact when they aren’t solicited and when they are coming from someone who has nothing to gain in the situation.
The whole reason I was thinking about this was because for Bible study this week I went through John chapter 5. The second part of chapter 5 is Jesus saying-I know that I can testify about myself BUT things will be much more clear if you hear it from someone else, it just makes it more real.
Isn’t that so flipping true about any person in almost any situation???
Now, here is where I get the whole relationships notion. God is so frickin smart-- it’s all about relationships! We are designed by God to be in relationship and to be impacted by one another. Relationships are a blessing and they are the only thing that matters. God obviously knew this and along with that He knew that those relationships were what was going to spread Jesus and His love.
It makes you think…what would I say/write about myself and my life. Is that near as impactful as what other people would say/write about me? … And does it really even mater as long as I’m using my relationships to have the right kind of impact?
I love people, I love being in great relationships with people. I hope that my relationships, new and old, can testify to who I am as a person and mostly that I point to who Jesus is.
Father God, I’m thankful for the people you have blessed me to be in relationship with. Thank you for their insights, for their challenges, for their encouragement and for their love. Lord, I pray that we can be a testimony to the world about how each of us has impacted each other in a major way. I pray that even more-so that the impact we’ve had has been because of the love that you first showed to us. Amen.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
What is waiting...
Rivers are a funny thing. Strong and steady, they seem almost unchanging. But as Pocahontas puts it, ‘you can’t step in the same river twice, it’s always changing always flowing’.
Can you tell I watched Pocahontas today?? :)
The message I picked up on was a message of excitement. We never know what is waiting-just around the river bend.
The question is, will we take ahold of this excitement and actually go around the river bend?
Hey, why not?
This seems like a fun and exciting life to lead, but there is more to it. You see to be safe, we loose the chance of ever knowing what exciting is coming around the river bend…but we are safe.
Safety v. Adventure? What a conundrum…
This epic question was the pivot of Pocahontas' life and I have to say that I’m not sure it’s as pivotal in mine, but still a question that I wrestle with.
There are things in my life that are comfortable, and I like them. I feel safe. I feel comfortable being independent and safe when I’m with my family. I feel comfortable when I’m teaching and coaching and I’m safe around my friends.
However, I’m not the type of person to stay safe within those things for long. Uncomfortableness and uneasiness and a lack of safety are necessary for finding out what is coming next around the river bend. This seems like it could be equated to some huge life changing career move or picking up all my things and going across country, however. I’m thinking on a little smaller scale. I’m safe and steady where I am, but I’m excited and looking for adventure here. I’m looking for a bend in the river in this place. Those bends could be all kinds of adventures. Things like pushing myself to be a better teacher and coach, investing in new relationships, meeting exciting people, even something as small as trying a new work out :).
I love tradition and routine and things that are comfortable, but just around the river bend there are things that make me uncomfortable--and it’s so good for me! It’s exciting and challenging and a great new adventure.
Can you tell I watched Pocahontas today?? :)
The message I picked up on was a message of excitement. We never know what is waiting-just around the river bend.
The question is, will we take ahold of this excitement and actually go around the river bend?
Hey, why not?
This seems like a fun and exciting life to lead, but there is more to it. You see to be safe, we loose the chance of ever knowing what exciting is coming around the river bend…but we are safe.
Safety v. Adventure? What a conundrum…
This epic question was the pivot of Pocahontas' life and I have to say that I’m not sure it’s as pivotal in mine, but still a question that I wrestle with.
There are things in my life that are comfortable, and I like them. I feel safe. I feel comfortable being independent and safe when I’m with my family. I feel comfortable when I’m teaching and coaching and I’m safe around my friends.
However, I’m not the type of person to stay safe within those things for long. Uncomfortableness and uneasiness and a lack of safety are necessary for finding out what is coming next around the river bend. This seems like it could be equated to some huge life changing career move or picking up all my things and going across country, however. I’m thinking on a little smaller scale. I’m safe and steady where I am, but I’m excited and looking for adventure here. I’m looking for a bend in the river in this place. Those bends could be all kinds of adventures. Things like pushing myself to be a better teacher and coach, investing in new relationships, meeting exciting people, even something as small as trying a new work out :).
I love tradition and routine and things that are comfortable, but just around the river bend there are things that make me uncomfortable--and it’s so good for me! It’s exciting and challenging and a great new adventure.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Refreshingly Exhausting
The title of this post says it all.
Those two words are the best description of my weekend I can find. So good. Sooo tired.
After a long week at school I rushed to meet up with the basketball team and make the trek to Marshall. MN for a scrimmage. It was a good experience and our team is getting better. We as coaches are finding things we can improve on overall, competing is really good for us. After that late night we had a fun Saturday ahead.
The anual alumni game!!! :) So much fun for alumni, not as much fun for current players. The alumni game is tough, it’s the fun friendly competition that we as alumni get to enjoy... and maybe smack talk a little… but it’s serious and used as an opportunity to get better for the current players. I remember as a player how hard it was to take the game serious all the time, especially when your playing against some of your best friends and they are goofing around.
Lucky for me--I’m old. So I got to goof around, which is way more my style :).
Anyway, that wore me out! Not to mention the JV had a scrimmage that I coached and coaching is just as mentally exhausting as playing is physically exhausting.
Then comes the refreshing part. The nature of the alumni game is so that alumni come back!!! And it just so happens that all the girls that I graduated with (just 2) and all the girls who were juniors when I graduated came back to play! :) We were "reunited and it felt so goooood…”.
Naturally, after the game I invited al the girls over for pumpkin carving and to hang out for a while. Us old fogies were ready to turn in by 10:30, but we pushed through. And it was oh so worth it!
As tired and sore and just plain exhausted as I felt this morning, I had a sense of renewal. It’s amazing what good conversation and day filled with laughter can do for a person. Remembering stories and catching up and even sharing little pieces of our souls was accompanied by even more laughter and some delicious fall treats. It’s been around 2 and a half years since all us were in the same place and able to share life, we’ve all grown up in different ways, which is really fun to see. It’s funny how even though we’ve all changed, we can still come together like no time has pasted. Sharing that time may be rare, but it’s perfect.
Those two words are the best description of my weekend I can find. So good. Sooo tired.
After a long week at school I rushed to meet up with the basketball team and make the trek to Marshall. MN for a scrimmage. It was a good experience and our team is getting better. We as coaches are finding things we can improve on overall, competing is really good for us. After that late night we had a fun Saturday ahead.
The anual alumni game!!! :) So much fun for alumni, not as much fun for current players. The alumni game is tough, it’s the fun friendly competition that we as alumni get to enjoy... and maybe smack talk a little… but it’s serious and used as an opportunity to get better for the current players. I remember as a player how hard it was to take the game serious all the time, especially when your playing against some of your best friends and they are goofing around.
Lucky for me--I’m old. So I got to goof around, which is way more my style :).
Anyway, that wore me out! Not to mention the JV had a scrimmage that I coached and coaching is just as mentally exhausting as playing is physically exhausting.
Then comes the refreshing part. The nature of the alumni game is so that alumni come back!!! And it just so happens that all the girls that I graduated with (just 2) and all the girls who were juniors when I graduated came back to play! :) We were "reunited and it felt so goooood…”.
Naturally, after the game I invited al the girls over for pumpkin carving and to hang out for a while. Us old fogies were ready to turn in by 10:30, but we pushed through. And it was oh so worth it!
As tired and sore and just plain exhausted as I felt this morning, I had a sense of renewal. It’s amazing what good conversation and day filled with laughter can do for a person. Remembering stories and catching up and even sharing little pieces of our souls was accompanied by even more laughter and some delicious fall treats. It’s been around 2 and a half years since all us were in the same place and able to share life, we’ve all grown up in different ways, which is really fun to see. It’s funny how even though we’ve all changed, we can still come together like no time has pasted. Sharing that time may be rare, but it’s perfect.
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